014 Devotion Over Discipline: Reclaiming Your Why

Series: Mindset & Motivation

Reframes discipline as a healing practice rooted in nourishment, consistency, and care.

Picking Up the Thread

Often, strength is loud—bold, visible, and demanding to be seen. But in Blog 005, we explored a different kind of strength: the kind that whispers. The kind that rises quietly from within. Just you, your goals, and your desire to reach higher. Some things are better left unsaid until the timing is right. Quiet strength is a gift we give ourselves to win the battles that have haunted us for far too long.

After all, freedom is the goal. Blog 010 reminded us that a weight loss journey isn’t always the answer. It’s hard to find success when we’re fixated on a number on the scale. That’s why the number means less to me now—or at least, I’m learning to let it. I’m not there yet, but I’m getting closer. And even that shift in thinking feels like freedom.

I don’t stress about stepping on the scale on Wednesdays and Saturdays anymore. That’s new for me. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way. Right now, I just don’t care—not in a careless way, but in a healed way. It’s a number. I know it’s a number. But now I see that my healing means so much more. The scale is a tool, nothing more. I won’t let it control me or keep me from the life I’m building.

Now that we’ve quieted the noise and reclaimed our freedom, how do we stay aligned? This blog explores devotion—not as rigid discipline, but as a loving return to what really matters.

The Problem with Discipline as Punishment

Somewhere along the way, discipline got distorted—twisted into punishment, control, and shame dressed up as self-improvement. And I fell for it, hook, line, and sinker.

It’s always been easy for me to punish myself—physically, yes, but mostly mentally—when things don’t go the way I think they should. The scale is a perfect example. Before I began to master the scale, it mastered me. I’d step on, see a number I didn’t like, and immediately spiral.

Physically, I’d withhold food. I’d call it a “fast,” but it wasn’t about nourishment or healing. It was about control. And because our culture often praises fasting, no one questioned it. But I knew the truth: I wasn’t fasting—I was punishing.

Mentally, it was even worse. I’d berate myself with words I wouldn’t say to anyone else: You’re never going to be successful. You’re meant to live in this fat body. You’re just not good enough. And those words would send me deeper into the spiral—one that often ended in overeating, not for a day, but for weeks or even months.

This chasing of perfection is exhausting. When we choose discipline as punishment, we don’t find freedom—we build cages. And then we wonder why we feel so trapped.

Reframing Discipline as Devotion

But what if discipline was never meant to be punishment—what if it was meant to be devotion? What if we chose our little bumps in the road as opportunities to deepen our understanding of how best to nourish ourselves? What if we chose a spiritual practice instead of punishment?

This is really where devotion begins—not in grand gestures, but in quiet rituals that root us. A morning walk. A whispered prayer. A moment of stillness before the day begins. Journaling not to fix, but to feel. Choosing nourishing food because your body is worthy of care. These aren’t punishments. They’re practices. They’re how we return to ourselves, again and again.

These practices are rooted in love, not fear. They are positive ways we can meet ourselves with grace when setbacks come. They are how we love ourselves instead of punishing ourselves when things aren’t perfect or don’t go as planned. When we do this consistently, we’re not controlling ourselves—we’re caring for ourselves. And that’s what healing is all about. It’s a shift that, even for me, is hard to make. But it’s worth it.

Devotion-led living doesn’t ask you to be flawless—it asks you to be faithful. Faithful to your healing. Faithful to your why. Faithful to the quiet voice inside that says, “You’re worth showing up for.” And when you begin to live that way, even in small moments, everything starts to change.

Reclaiming Your Why

Devotion without direction can feel hollow—this is where reclaiming your why becomes essential. You have to know why you’re on this path of healing. Without that anchor, even the most loving practices can start to feel aimless.

There are three steps that can help you uncover your why.

First, just brainstorm. Throw everything at the wall—from the obvious to the deeply personal. Maybe your doctor said you need to lose weight. Maybe you want to fit into that amazing pair of jeans. Maybe you want to keep up with your kids, or run a marathon. Whatever comes to mind, write it down. No judgment. Just honesty.

Second, reflect. Look at your list and ask: What’s personal? What’s deeply personal? Think about how you envision your future self. What matters most to you? How might your health impact that vision? If fitting into those jeans is on your list, ask yourself why. Is it about confidence? Visibility? Belonging? There’s often a deeper reason waiting to be uncovered.

Third, connect your why to your core values. Look at your reasons and ask: Which one truly speaks to me? Not what society says it should be. Not what your family thinks it should be. What do you believe? A strong why comes from within—not from pressure, guilt, or expectation.

For me, my biggest why is this: I want to move into the second half of my life in a healthy, vibrant way. I don’t want to be held back from the things I love. I want to live longer. I want to be there to watch the children in my family grow up and have children of their own. I want to be present—for all of it—for as long as I can.

If you’re struggling to find your why, here are a few questions to guide you:

• What do I want to feel more of?

• What am I truly committed to?

• What does devotion look like in my daily life?

Finding your why gives you something to hold onto—especially in those moments when you feel weak, discouraged, or unstable in your health journey. And let’s be honest: we all feel that way sometimes. But when your why is clear and close, your chances of success increase tremendously. Because now, you’re not just chasing a goal. You’re returning to purpose.

Gentle Practices for Devotion-Led Living

Once you’ve reclaimed your why, the next step is to live it—not through pressure or perfection, but through gentle, consistent practices that honor your purpose. But what is devotion-led living?

Devotion-led living is the quiet, intentional choice to return—again and again—to what matters most. It’s not about rigid routines or checking boxes. It’s about aligning your daily actions with your deeper purpose, even when motivation fades. It’s brushing your teeth because you love your body, not because you hate how it looks. It’s choosing rest without guilt, movement without punishment, nourishment without shame. Devotion-led living is a practice of remembering your why and honoring it—not perfectly, but faithfully.

For me, implementing devotion-led living is hard. It takes time. It takes practice. When you’ve spent years living for others, it’s difficult to shift toward devoting time to yourself—especially in a world where time always feels scarce. But here’s the truth: if we don’t devote time to ourselves, our why will never come to life. So I try to commit to a daily rhythm of journaling, movement, prayer, and rest—because I want emotional clarity and spiritual alignment. These practices help me live my best life.

Am I perfect? Far from it. But I’m trying. Each day gets better. I allow myself flexibility. I don’t punish myself if I’m off-kilter one day. I simply wake up the next morning like it’s Monday and begin again. That’s the magic—you don’t have to be perfect. You just have to return.

Reflection

This is not the whole story—but it’s a beginning.

Devotion-led living isn’t a destination. It’s a rhythm. A quiet return. A daily choice to honor your why, even when the world pulls you in every other direction. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about being present.

There will be days when you forget. When the scale whispers old lies. When your schedule feels too full to make space for yourself. But devotion doesn’t demand perfection. It simply asks you to come back.

So when you feel off-kilter, when motivation fades, when shame tries to creep in—pause. Breathe. Remember your why. And return.

Because healing isn’t found in punishment. It’s found in the gentle, consistent care of a soul that refuses to give up.

You’re not chasing discipline. You’re choosing devotion. You’re choosing to begin again. And that changes everything.